Do You Ever Wonder???

It's almost 1:00 AM, my eyes are burning, my feet are swollen and I really think I should be in bed sleeping... but here I sit thinking about life and a sweet friend of mine... I feel like I would like to cry actually. Sometimes, I just wonder why??? I know that everyone has different trials, but why does illness have to be one of them. I often times feel sorry for myself and the few health issues I have had to deal with. Boo Wah Tracy... life is so hard. I have those days that I can hardly walk or do my girls hair and think "why do I have to deal with this stupid disease"! Why doesn't my husband understand the pain I feel? Why do I have to have an ugly 10 inch scar down my abdomen? Why did I end up with a bowel reconstruction, instead of just a "simple" case of appendicitis? Why-o-why do I have to deal with health issues when I have a husband that is totally healthy and I can hardly keep up with him. Some days I feel like the poor guy got stuck with a lemon of a car when he married me.

Then, I think of my friend who is battling cancer. She has a young family with 2 beautiful girls and a loving husband. Why does she have to suffer through this trial? Why did another sweet young mom I know lose her battle with cancer? There's another mom that lived through a plane crash and lives everyday in constant pain from burns on her body and she is just so happy to be here, alive, with her children and husband. All these amazing women have such positive attitudes on life and being mothers. There are so many men and women who keep fighting their battles with a smile, faith and love... How does someone cross over from the "wo is me" person to the happy, smiling person that hobbles around and is just grateful that there was another day to wake up and see her beautiful children? Happy to be able to spend a day playing games and laughing with them?

Maybe we all have our "wo is me" days... we just try to keep them to ourselves. I understand "The Plan" and I really do know why we have trials in life. I just wish that illnesses didn't have to be one of them. I remember what my own mother suffered through for many years. Maybe everything is just so fresh on my mind because of Memorial Day and visiting her grave. Life is but a moment in the grand scheme of things and this mortal life can be over in a blink of an eye... I just think of my friend and pray that she has many years to spend with her sweet family. Her kids deserve to know her well, because she is an amazing person. I'm just choked up right now... I'm rambling and just have lots of thoughts running through my mind tonight that I wanted to write down.

I hope that when I have "one of those days" I can think of my friends that fight their battles with a smile on while they continue to press forward. Thanks for all your wonderful examples!!

Luvs and Hugs... Tracy